My battle with clinical depression began when I was 12 years old. I couldn’t sleep at night. I cried every single day. A deep sadness and sense of hopelessness and worthlessness penetrated my being and it felt unshakable. I had no label for what I was experiencing and I didn’t know how to share it with those around me. I knew I was in pain and it scared me.
I have been writing here for almost 6 months now. I’ve written things that are true. I’ve written things that are real. Have I invited you into my hard? I’m afraid to talk about my hard, afraid I’ll be judged and rejected. But when I don’t talk about my hard you don’t get to see His presence within it. See, the only real hope of God’s love comes as you go through your hard and realize He’s still there.
Are you despairing today? What hopes have you put to rest, afraid to allow yourself to even think about? I was met today by the Lord in a way that is hard to express in words. You can call it a simple coincidence, but it felt like God took a moment to let me know He sees me. He knows me. He cares enough to give me a horse named Max. He sees you too.