I have read this section of scripture countless times, yet this morning, this particular verse jumped off the page. Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing.
This could be discouraging. This could be liberating. The farther down this path of life I walk, the more aware I become of my inabilities. I cannot save anyone from pain. I cannot save myself. I am capable of momentary pleasure, but I am incapable of joy that persists through pain. I am incapable of producing hope in the midst of despair. This scares me and discourages me.
Apart from God - His Spirit - I can do nothing. What if that's actually okay? What if it is by design? After a lifetime of striving to be like God in my own strength, I can let go. I can let go of the branch on the shore of control that I have been clinging to and I can float into the river of His love. I will be sustained, even in my doubt, or despair, or hopelessness. It's not too much for Him. As long as I'm with Him, it is well. It's not necessarily "good" according to the comfortable standards of this culture, but it is Good. For He is Good.
I have been afraid for as long as I can remember. I want to stop being afraid and filled with dread. I want to let go. Not because I have found courage, but because my heart has been completely captured by God's love.